A family trait – adapting to life in the hearing world

Ray, Jenny, and Janet’s grandmother, Avis, was born deaf in the early 1900s. Without access to hearing aids at the time, she developed strong lip-reading skills to communicate with those around her.

Avis had five children, all of whom were also deaf. Growing up in a predominantly hearing world, they remember feeling included and accepted, with no sense of being treated differently. The only extra effort was encouraging people to face them when speaking so they could read lips — a skill their mother had mastered and passed down.

Avis’s eldest child, Shirley, had three children. Raymond, the eldest, has four children — his eldest son, Alan, is deaf, while the other three have typical hearing. Alan’s eldest child is also deaf.

Shirley’s second child, Jennifer, has one child, Warren, who is deaf. Warren also has two children who are deaf.

The third child, Janet, is affectionately said by her siblings to have “supersonic hearing.” She has two children and one grandchild, all of whom are hearing. Across the wider whānau — including cousins, nieces, and nephews — there is a mix of both deaf and hearing family members, a reflection of the family’s diverse hearing experiences.

For this family, adapting to life in the hearing world has always been second nature. They have never let hearing differences define who they are or limit what they can achieve.

Here, Shirley’s three children share their stories of how cochlear implants have helped transform their lives and the lives of those around them.

Ray’s story

“My first recollection of there being anything wrong with my hearing was around the age of 8 or 9 when my sister Jennifer and I went to Kelston School for the Deaf to have hearing tests and be fitted with a hearing device and ear plug  which I refused to wear to school. It wasn't a nice time. There were other attempts at various times, but none were successful - mostly getting the ear moulds to fit properly were the problem. 

“In 2017, I was fitted with a set of hearing aids which for a time were quite good but once again the moulds caused problems. I was giving cochlear implants some serious thought around that time as my son and granddaughter have cochlear implants  and I saw how much it changed their lives.   They weren't grumpy  and hiding away like I was. It was around that time that I told Jennifer that she should get it done, and she did. 

“I decided to stop sitting on my hands and get it sorted. Now here I am.

“I'm 73 and I’ve had cochlear implants for just over three months now. Straight away, I could hear the difference between cochlear and hearing aids and now I'm hearing sounds I've probably never heard before in my lifetime.

“It’s not only that, but I can now distinguish between sounds like birds, which is a whole new world to me. It’s fun, but it's a noisy old world out there!

“It’s been a long journey and I’m very pleased with the progress I’ve made so far. At the beginning I was a bit impatient but the lovely people at The Hearing House have made the process so much easier.

 “They do an amazing job. Thanks to every one of them.”

Jenny’s story

“I was born with hearing loss, but it was very mild.  By the time I reached high school I had to copy my friends’ work as I couldn’t keep up with the teacher.  By the time I was 20 I realised that I was very deaf and gave up trying to understand people on the phone.  I had been lip reading all this time and continued with it as a way of life – not thinking that it was hard at all.  I did well at school and in my jobs. 

“When I was nearly 70, I suddenly realised that I was so over living in silence, particularly when my cat showed signs of being petrified because she could hear noises and I didn’t know what she was scared of.  I went along to my local audiologist in Whāngarei, and they found that I met the criteria for a cochlear implant. That started the ball rolling, and I had the implant done one year later. 

“Personally, I didn’t think my hearing loss prevented me from doing anything.  Like missing out on listening to things like music, to me it couldn’t be helped.  There are other things that people say I missed out on, but I don’t think of it as being a loss.  It was part of my life not being able to hear these things.

“The only disappointment I can remember was not being able to take the typing class at high school.  I was told I would be wasting the teacher’s time as I wouldn’t be able to get a typing job because of being deaf.

“Things have been all good with life since my cochlear implant.  It’s been fun identifying the different sounds.  I was shocked at how noisy the world was and felt sorry for hearing people having to listen to it all.  But I’ve moved past that now and love being in a room full of people listening to all the chatter.  Not that I really know what is being said!

“I’m now 15 months post op and enjoy everything about my implant.  Particularly when I can hear clearly and identify the gentle snores of my cat.  It’s perfect! I’d absolutely recommend it to others even though it took me 70 years to get it done myself.

“The only issue I have is that people think that now I have my cochlear implant, I’ll be able to hear everything that they’re saying. Hopefully, I’ll be able to identify speech more clearly a little bit further down the track.

“I love everything about The Hearing House.  It’s like going to visit family.  It’s a very welcoming place and filled with good people.

“I’d like to make a special mention of my sister, Janet.  She’s been to every appointment with me - The Hearing House, surgeons and hospital - and she’s done an amazing job with her support.  Then she went through it all again with our brother, Raymond. 

“She’s one of a kind.”

Janet’s story

“I’m 14 years younger than Raymond and 12 years younger than Jenny.

“My father was hearing, and my mother, Shirley, was deaf. Mum was the eldest of five children who were all deaf. I have 15 other family members who are deaf with seven of them having cochlear implants. Two of those are Raymond’s eldest son and that son’s eldest daughter. All deaf family members lip read.

“I’ve grown up in a deaf family but not the deaf community. The only time we were involved was when we played indoor bowls at the deaf centre hall in Sandringham. From the age of four, I’ve answered the phone, taken messages, made phone calls and listened for my mother.

“Jenny had never wanted a cochlear implant because she didn’t want a big box on the side of her head. Since losing her partner and retiring she thought more and more about being able to hear environmental sounds. When she made the decision, it was fascinating for me to accompany her to all her appointments. Since she got her implant, it’s been amazing to see how she now picks up sounds and can identify them. There’s not so much of the “what was that?”.

“Raymond had thought about it too, but for some reason had never taken that next step. After Jenny’s cochlear implant he thought it might be a good idea, so off down the path we went.

“Jenny lives in Whāngarei and I’m 40 minutes north of that in Helena Bay so supporting her was relatively easy. We had a few nights in Auckland to break up the travel and appointments. Now we just do day trips.

“Raymond lives in Te Kuiti which is a bit more difficult, but we manage. We communicate mainly via Messenger and any appointments in Auckland are a day trip for all of us.

“The staff at The Hearing House who we’ve been involved with are outstanding. As a family member, it’s great for me to know that they’re always available if we should need them. 

“It’s The Hearing House who have helped transform my siblings’ lives.”

From L to R: Janet, Ray, Mum Shirley, Jenny